With a face like a crab's bus ticket
And skin like a llama's door mat
He was always gonna struggle
Nature had seen to that He dreamt of those oldWhere Bogart gets the dame
But a lorry load of Lorre
Is still the score of pain And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottleHe may be fat but he's got the corkAnd in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue With a chin like a tramp's jukeAnd eyes like a rhino's ashIt was always going to be pantomime
That made him sing and dance anyway When you feel like London
And you look like Hull
You think Travolta pulled Newton Who did John Hurt pull? And they compliment the compliment
And it's driving you insane
It's like talking to a helicopter
When you know that you're a plane Breath like a mountain goat's satchel
Nose like a pool of sick
But you always leave your flies ahoy
'Cause the world wants to suck your dick
Let it suck! And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottleHe may be fat but he's got the corkAnd in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue.
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