I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
Educated the expensive way
The story of a charmless man
He knows his claret from his beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
That they like him, he does the same to them
He thinks he's educated, airs those family shares
But then nature didn't make him that way He moves in circles of friends who just pretend
Will protect him, that we'll respect him
There's the model of a charmless man
And when you put it all together
He knows the singers and their cavalry Says he can get in anywhere for free I began to go a little crossAnd from this charmless man I just had to hide
He talks at speed he gets nosebleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him
And yet he tries so hard to please
But noHe's just so keen for you to listen
And when you put it all together there's the model of a charmless man.
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