sitting around, no work today try pacing to keep awake laying around, no school today just drink until the clock has circled all the way it's late afternoon as you walk through the rooms of a house that is quiet except for unanswered telephones you stand near the sink you're mixing a drink you think you don't want to pass out where your roommates will find you again stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do you're always looking for something to sniff, smoke, or swallow calling over next door to see what they got but you would settle for anything that would make your brain slow down or stop break this circle of thoughts you chase before they catch back up with you and your parents noticied your thinning face, all the weight you lost-- all the weight you are losing you said, "i'm done feeling like a skeleton no more sleep walking dead" you're going to wake from this coma you're going to crawl from this bed you have made and stop counting on that camera that hangs round your neck because it won't ever remember what you choose to forget as you try to find some source of light try to name one thing you like you used to have such a longer list and light you never had to look for it but now it's so easy-- it's so easy to it's so easy-- it's so easy to second guess everything you do until all you want is all you want is to to finish this half empty glass before the ice all melts away this feeling always used to pass but seems like it's every day it seems like it's every night now.
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